Quotes

Game One

• "I said salt, not Exalt!" — Andres
• "Names were nicer back then. They probably didn't call it 'One-Armed Bitch Way'." — Takuro
• "Get weapons. Raise armies. Wash my pants." — Takuro's Goals

Game Three

• "I love the smell of hubris in the morning." — Neel
• "I could see Luna being a bag of dirt." — Theresa

Game Four

• "I'd rather not have a Deathlord coming out of the toilet." — Takuro

Game Five

• "I'm usually annoyed by your cynicism, but right now I think it's just what we need." — Takuro
• "The idea of the recently-dead sticking around giving advice is..." "Damn annoying!" — Takuro & Khazarkhan
• "You made the GM smile—it's a bad idea!" — Theresa
• "There's a little voice in my head saying NO!!! Okay, a big voice." — Arrant Green Jay

Game Five

• "No man is an island." "Exactly! Men should be volcanoes, exploding on each other with life!" — Arrant Green Jay & Elsevier, The Thief
• "It's hard to pole vault with your pole tied to your pants." — Theresa, on Khazarkhan's magic rope
• "We need some Kung-Fu cops. They're the best sort of cops there is." — Takuro

Game Six

• "We have fruit juice...wasabi plums!" — Natanya
• "If any thing explodes, I want to be near it." — Khazarkhan
• "Remind me not to build any sentient weapons..." — Khazarkhan

Game Seven

• "Don't worry. If it talks about human flesh, I've tricked it." — Khazarkhan
• "At this point, I've really stopped wanting to know a lot of things." — Takuro
• "Not specifically, no, but generally, yes." — Arrant Green Jay
• "That doesn't sound like it involves instant death, so it's the best plan anyone's come up with so far." — Arrant Green Jay
• "But it smells bad there." — Arrant Green Jay, on Malfeas
• "Actually, that means going to Malfeas is safer than going to the Underworld." — Khazarkhan
• "Should I pick up my brother?" "Not if you want him to live..." — Takuro & Khazarkhan

Game Eight

• "Going upstairs with a 15-year-old girl...no gossip here." — Takuro
• "Are you Exalted?" "Yeah." — Rika & Takuro
• "He has made my life much harder of late." "Yes, but much longer. Perhaps I appreciate that more than you." — Rika & Arrant
• "We steal from the rich, those who do not need it." "We do so." — Rika & Arrant
• "The meeting with the Deathlord gets interrupted by Mormon Secret Underwear." — Andrés
• "That place had an oppressive miasma of death and evil." "I want to visit there again to see what we could see." — Andrés & Neel
• "Evil gets such a bad rep." — John
• "Fish are cold. They're like dead anyway." — Theresa

Game Nine

• "No, it's not that we don't want to know about it. It's that we don't want it to happen. There is a difference." — Theresa
• "You keep denying being that person. You can't just be him when it's convenient!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "I acted in reasonably good faith, until I stopped." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Good, good, deny being yourself some more!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "I'm going to go hang out with the kid. Who doesn't want me to have sex with my wife. Ex-wife." — Takuro
• "Is that the first one of his plans that does not involve summoning demons?" — Takuro
• "Chosen of the Sun do not sulk. We ponder weighty matters. Alone." — Takuro
• "We're not celibate." "You seem to be trying your best." — Takuro & Arrant Green Jay
• "Basically what I do is talk to people and I stab them." — Takuro

Game Ten

• "What about allegations that you're an evil wizard who consorts with demons and foul beasts, and stole the power of the sun for his own nefarious purposes?" "I'm not a wizard." — A Questioner & Takuro
• "I kind of like the idea of my enemies' lunch rising up and attacking them from behind." — Takuro
• "Yes, it's like breakfast, only with deadly Kung-Fu." — Neel
• "No, that's cholera; I need ship costs." — Andrés
• "I decapitate her again!" — Rika

Game Eleven

• "Wisdom? Your what?" — Arrant Green Jay
• "Don't worry—if anything goes wrong, I have experience crying out for Demon of the Second Circle..." — Khazarkhan
• "I have no intention of showing up in your bed in any condition." — Ben
• "I think we need to reopen the path to the Labyrinth." "You always think that." — Khazakhan & Arrant Green Jay
• "Oh my god! We've found someone in the world less subtle than me!" — Takuro
• "So, you're saying you're not a slave to the Yozis, but you are a slave to fashion." — Andrés

Game Twelve

• "And God-Blooded are so easy to produce!" "Not if we put you in charge." — Takuro & Andrés
• "At last we have a champion to wield our sword, one with enough lung capacity to utter its name in combat before collapsing!" — The Yozis
• "Forging things? In multiple senses, yes." — Khazarkhan
• "Is there a god of ominous music, and if so, can we bribe him to join us?" — Ben
• "Moses had to spend a lot of time looking for the one spot in the Middle East that had no oil." — Neel
• "Also, screwing them over is extremely profitable." — Takuro
• "I am wearing a hat. A hat that says 'Peasant'." — Khazarkhan
• "We have a lack of any sort of sneakiness power—we shall have to rely on audacity instead, sheer audacity!" — Khazarkhan
• "Powerful Dragon-Blooded...who knows you personally?" "Yes, but I have a hat." — Arrant Green Jay & Khazarkhan

Game Thirteen

• "It doesn't matter if it's insane; it only matters whether it's profitable." — Theresa
• "I can write poetry, but if you summon my toe, that's not going to be that helpful." — Arrant Green Jay
• "It occurs to me that magic might be useful here." — Khazarkhan
• "I think the problem is that people are generally unwilling to gossip about the secret police." — Khazarkhan
• "I think there really isn't a lot of danger." — Takuro, on setting up base of operation in the Imperial City
• "God, the truth is such a handy, handy back-up." — Arrant Green Jay
• "And then I hypno-tongue the man." — Takuro
• "Look at it this way: We're the rightful government; those are taxes." — Khazarkhan
• "I have two dots in Ride, baby." — Takuro
• "Are you going to give her that hot, unconquered blood?" — Neel

Game Fourteen

• "Zombies don't count—they're already dead!" — Theresa
• "Maybe zombies should count as three-fifths of a person..." — Theresa
• "I wanna put your body language on the wiki, but I don't think I can." — Theresa
• "We don't have a daddy; we just have those six uncles—oh, wait..." — Theresa, in a squeaky little girl voice
• "He doesn't need any more bonding experiences with Dragon-Blooded!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "It's like Pandora's tennis ball!" — Jon

Game Fifteen

• "Well, there are advantages to being a nuclear reactor." — Neel
• "It's a good thing we left the mortals on the ship. This would probably make them nervous." — Arrant Green Jay
• "It doesn't need to be practical; we're Exalted." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Not to mention, there's all sort of Compassionate things you can do with ropes." — Andrés
• "Good never comes of putting on rings you find in dark places." — Takuro
• "We are under the underworld. That is bad." — Takuro
• "I want to face giant death ants. Let's go!" — Khazarkhan
• "Yeah, but that was a good aardvark stunt, so it only costs five motes." — Andrés
• "It's dandruff of the Malfeans." — Khazarkhan
• "I don't mind control people. I just talk to them real nice-like." — Takuro
• "Cocky little unthinkably huge undead bastard, isn't he?" — Takuro
• "Virtues? Who needs Virtues? We need demons!" — Takuro, Priest of the Unconquered Sun

Game Sixteen

• "All in favor of not using the Deathlord as a tumbler, raise your hand." — Takuro
• "The problem with Natanya is that she pushes buttons whether or not she knows what they do. When Khazarkhan pushes buttons, he knows exactly what they do." — Takuro
• "The Unconquered Sun is better than Cats. I want to see it again and again." — Khazarkhan
• "That is enough to convince a brainless mook that you are not a Deathlord with an unpuppy." — Andrés
• "I don't think it's so much a problem of not being a man as not being a deviant freak." — Neel
• "You're on my wasp. Show a little compassion." — Khazarkhan
• "Getting eviscerated is what Dawn Castes are for!" — Takuro
• "I'll bet you guys worked up quite a thirst, eh?" — The Tomallah

Game Seventeen

• "Let's use the Wyld Hunt as a means to bring Dragon-Blooded to us." — Neel
• "Wait, did you say sneak? That uses that ability none of us have." — Theresa
• "The problem with the Underworld is that it's made of corpses." — Khazarkhan
• "You haven't tried to steal anything or kill anyone we like in quite a while." — Arrant Green Jay
• "He seemed reasonably dead. There was a whole lot of death-stuff going on." — Takuro
• "If you have power, then by definition whatever you do with it is not corrupt." — Takuro, "Incorruptible" Priest of the Unconquered Sun
• "Hey, cool, we're random weirdos!" "I'm not random; I am merely eccentric." — Takuro & Khazarkhan
• "You hang out with the rest of us. You wind up doing good every so often." — Arrant Green Jay, to Khazakhan
• "There's a lot of stuff we need to do after we keep the world from going insane." — Takuro
• "Good lord! You let go of something powerful, dangerous, and valuable. We're so proud of you!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "I like the fact that we each think the other group has the more manageable problem." — Neel

Game Eighteen

• "They're more like living in an undead hippie commune out in Hawai'i." — Andrιs
• "Loot is such an ugly word. It's salvage. It's been abandoned over a hundred years." "Looting is our moral obligation." — Arrant Green Jay & Takuro
• "I'm the Abyssal in the group, so I need to be more evil than them?" "Trying to be more evil than Neel will hurt your brain." — Laura & Theresa
• "One of the greatest acts of vandalism of all time." "It's not vandalism, it's salvage!" — Khazarkhan & Arrant Green Jay
• "I'm confused as to what to do about the plague, since I can't kill it." — Ashes Burnt from Forgotten Dreams, Abyssal Exalt
• "I keep running into righteous people that need to die." — Takuro
• "That's my crew. Do not kill my crew; only I can do that." — Rika
• An exchange:
  • Khazarkhan: "If you're only doing it because you were told to, then you're a slave and deserve to die."
  • Ashes: "Could you hand me that book?"
  • Khazarkhan: "Sure, but I though you were pre-literate?"
  • Ashes: "I am, but you just did what I told you to."
• "They were nice demons...nicer than you, in fact." — Khazarkhan
• "Khazarkhan and Natanya are cooperating to do something hideously unnatural. That's what they do." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Who wants to volunteer...for a haircut?" — Rika
• "'Abyssals bad, Solars good?' What is this?" — Ashes
• "Cute. Don't do it again. — J." — Note left on the table
• "Good Lord! You got Neel to be quiet!" — Theresa

Game Nineteen

• "I like how trying to be a general has turned me into, like, Marlon Brando." — Ben
• "You're a Dawn Caste. I thought you all wanted to be shot in the head." — Khazarkhan
• "Remember, everything's humanoid, so you can have sex with it." — Neel
• "I didn't think the liver was the seat of creepy feelings." — Arrant Green Jay
• "We can talk about livers. We're both into that sort of thing." — Rika
• "If anything leaps out and rips off my face, then you know there's an evil spirit inside." — Khazarkhan
• "There's very specific reasons I want people dead. It's not like I'm malicious." — Ashes
• "When have I ever cared about morals?" "Ooh, ooh, I know...oh, wait, that was a trick question..." — Khazarkhan & Takuro
• "...combining into the giant mecha snake with big teeth, which we then kill." — Arrant Green Jay
• "He's lying again." "Not so much lying as self-delusion." — Ashes & Arrant Green Jay
• "Nothing can go wrong unless it does." — Khazarkahn
• "While he's firing off Charisma, I'd like to fire off arrows." — Ashes

Game Twenty

• "Can you wait until I invent the charm 'Immunity to Lawsuit Technique'?" — Khazarkhan
• "Who cares? There's always some sort of magical crap around…and that's an official Twilight opinion." — Khazarkhan
• "Kidnap all the Dragon-Blooded and Outcaste in the threshold and then brainwash them one at a time?" — Khazarkhan
• "You're a little naive, you know that?" — Ashes, to Takuro
• "I'm willing to admit ignorance. Enlighten me, or endarken me, as the case may be." — Khazarkhan
• "Having someone's soul is kinda like having their nose, but different." — Ashes
• "Have you ever seen your soul in a cage? It's really, really fucking creepy." — Ashes
• "See, the way I see it, intelligent, reasonable things will fail because we're Exalted." — Ben
• "That's very Malfean." "No, it's very me." "There's really very little difference." — Takuro, Khazarkhan, & Arrant Green Jay
• "I mean, I'm a fucking Abyssal on a rope." — Ashes

Game Twenty-One

• "There's a reason I didn't suggest killing him while we're at it." — Takuro
• "Is it worse than being tortured for decades by Walker in Darkness?" "I dunno…good question, though." — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "Well, I'm in Creation right now. That kind of makes it difficult to be in the Underworld." — Takuro
• "Well, there's the two of us in Creation, Khazarkhan with the angry Deathlord, the Brass Legionnaires, Glides-With-Hope, the Dawn, and the airship." "That should be enough to get my soul back." — Ashes
• "I don't need Angst. I need Melee Charms. There's a difference you know." — Takuro
• "He is a Deathlord; this is not the time to be a badass." — Takuro
• "Wait, are you going to cast a Solar Circle Spell? In a tent?!" — Takuro
• "I'm going to try very, very hard to not die." — Ashes
• "To Walker: I'm very, very sorry for the inconvenience." — Ashes
• "In Denandsor did Khazarkhan a stately pleasure dome decree…" — Andrιs
• "We're going to have great heroes that die in war. We should prepare for that." — Takuro
• "We're rebuilding a First Age city!" "So?" "We have anti-trust laws!" — Takuro, Khazarkhan, & Takuro again

Game Twenty-Two

• "Obviously, we have to start building ships out of Squirt." — Ben
• "Whoa, whoa, whoa—no baby armor!" — Theresa
• "I have very few ambitions, mostly just staying alive, which involves killing the 13 Deathlords." — Ashes
• "I think that in about, uh, twenty years we'll be more popular than Heaven." "Isn't that a bit ostentatious?" "No. Ten years would be ostentatious." — Takuro, Rika, & Takuro again
• "I would conquer one or two cities with brutal overkill, just to show that we can." — Khazarkhan
• "Do you have anything against chaos?" — Ashes
• "Theoretically, the Mask of Winter's army is composed of the dead…" "That's not a theoretical, you know." — Rika & Ashes
• "You'd do that just to piss me off?" "No, I'd have ulterior motives." — Rika & Ashes
• "What, is my liver not good enough?" — Rika
• "He's getting Philadelphia and the Underworld confused." — Andrιs
• "But if we have someone really unpleasant ruling over the Underworld, more people will want to reincarnate." — Ashes
• "Ahh, paths of corpses—I feel like I'm home." — Ashes
• "Bringing things out of the Void is a way to make weapons that were never meant to be—oh my god, that's exactly what we need to do!" — Khazarkhan

Game Twenty-Three

• "Oh, no, he won't stab us in the back. He'll stab us right in the front." — Takuro
• "I'm concerned now. No one told me it was explosive!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "Conquer Nexus? Nobody wants Nexus." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Everything boils down to money and Kung Fu." — Takuro
• "I have a lot of numbers on here." — Takuro, pointing at his character sheet
• "You have destroyed the grease spot—one step closer to Oblivion." — The Malfeans
• "Oh my god! Khazarkhan said it was a good idea. That means I must have said something terrible." — Ashes
• "There's nothing wrong with handling or wearing bits of a Malfean." — Ashes
• "I was kinda hoping I could not go to Heaven." — Ashes

Game Twenty-Four

• "When you're dead, and on fire, and falling from a tower, that's an inherently less powerful position." — Theresa
• "That's what peasant oppression is for—to make sure the ruling classes has sandwiches whenever it wants them." — Khazarkahn
• "Power. Responsibility. Concepts that should have something to do with each other." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Let's do a little thought experiment: Let's pretend you're mortal." — Arrant Green Jay

Game Twenty-Five

• "I actually have very rarely killed people who didn't deserve it." — Ashes
• "Ice cream…I guess you don't have those here…it's an Underworld thing—very, very cold down there." — Ashes

Game Twenty-Six

• "I'm gonna summon up a Third Circle Demon and force it to use Endowment on me." — Khazarkhan
• "If you wanna keep me from blowing up the world, you should learn Essence-Gathering Temper." — Khazarkhan
• "I'm not gonna burn heretics—zombies at the most!" — Takuro
• "What's the worst that could happen? Some hero is fighting some monster and his Hearthstone breaks and some village gets eaten." — Khazarkhan
• "World Conspires So That Everything Helps You Win The Fight Technique" — Takuro
• "It's Farming Demon 3000™, brought to you by the Third Circle Corporation." — Jon
• "Okay, when was the last time we did anything that was a good idea." — Takuro
• "Until recently, I had a justice problem." — Rika
• "I can't technically breathe underwater." — Takuro
• "Don't worry; once you have the 'breathe underwater' charm, I'm sure the GM will find every opportunity possible to throw you underwater." — Neel
• "And Sauron follows behind Moses." — Ben

Game Twenty-Seven

• "Or, I could get Imbue Amalgam and make giant mutant hypnotizing priests." — Khazarkhan
• "Khazarkhan has basically two solutions to all problems: 1) Summon a demon. 2) Imbue Amalgam." — Takuro
• "No, it's a demon. You never know with a demon." — Takuro
• "Wait, wait—I missed something. Why did you want to talk to a Yozi?" — Takuro
• "He's like a sexy, muscular Kermit the Frog." "Andrιs, never, ever say that again." "But Kermit is the sexiest muppet." — Andrιs, Ben, & Theresa
• "If a demon didn't secrete it, you didn't do it." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Brandy is easier to guard when it's inside you." — Arrant Green Jay

Game Twenty-Eight

• "There is no chocolate, and I don't tolerate things without chocolate." — Ben
• "No, we weren't talking about killing millions of people. We were talking about killing their leader and enslaving them all." — Khazarkhan
• "Plumbing defines civilization." — Theresa
• "This is Exalted. Doing something crazy like trying to cleave five people in half is much easier than trying to do something reasonable like two." — Ben
• "I'm certain that pornography will make literacy more popular than before." — Khazarkhan
• "Most people fear the wrath of Heaven." — Arrant Green Jay
• "There could be an elemental pole of brandy." — Neel

Game Twenty-Nine

• "Not everything that comes out of Khazarkhan's mouth is a lie." — Neel
• "Oh, come on, which powerful entities haven't you annoyed already?" — Andrιs
• "What have I done that's really, really evil?" "That's just because you haven't saved up enough experience points yet." — Khazarkhan & Andrιs
• "Pizza-fighting seems like more of a warm weather occupation." — Theresa

Game Thirty

• "Alright clown, laugh." — Theresa
• "There was a big party at the beginning of the Usurpation. The Solars all got trashed, and then they got trashed." — Neel
• "Oh, yeah, I wanted their allegiance. That's why I shouldn't insult them." — Takuro
• "A chicken! Oh, wait, those die." — Takuro, trying to think of things that don't die
• "I will not be a party to such non-megalomaniacal schemes." — Khazarkhan
• "I mean, I would be embarrassed to return with something non-life-threatening." — Khazarkhan
• "This seems mythically unsatisfying." — Theresa
• "Ooh, we have shit carved into us. Look at us, we're so special." — Takuro, mocking the Silver Pact
• "Endangering all of civilization for our personal gain is what we do." — Takuro
• "I don't even remember his name, but let's bring my brother." — Takuro

Lunar One-Shot

• "Now, by 'carefully constructed plan', how many demons are you talking about?" "None!" — Takuro & Khazarkhan, in pre-game discussions
• "Dear sir, I am simple barbarian that wishes to be corrupted by the decadent pleasures of civilization." — Neel
• "The bartender leads you in back to the heroin den and starts hitting on you." "I hit back." — Andrιs & Ben
• "Hmm, I'm playing an incredibly muscular guy wearing a loincloth. I wonder how straight he is?" — Neel
• "Dude, we can borrow the world's smallest violin from someone who doesn't give a shit!" — Ben
• "There are three things that I want to do today—kill things, have sex, and win a huge fortune then piss it all away in true Conan style." — Neel
• "You're awfully curious for a god." "Yes, how about that?" — Some Guard & Ben
• "I am a mighty being of unimaginable power. Actually, it's imaginable, but it's mighty big." — Ben
• "This is your punishment for stews!" — Ben
• "I haven't killed anything in a long time—well, except for that guy earlier…" — Theresa

Game Thirty-One

• "We could put the ship in water! I hadn't even thought of that!" — Takuro
• "Flee? That's that word where people run away and come back with their friends later." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Well, down in the Underworld, they'd eat dead babies." — Khazarkhan
• "It's already coated with god teeth. How complicated do you want to get?" — Arrant Green Jay
• "Don't discount the power of talking to people, Mr. Innocent-and-Glowy!" — Theresa
• "Well, if you're really desperate, I can sink another eight XP into Demon of the Second Circle." "Desperate? No, I'm not desperate." "No, not desperate at all." — Khazarkhan, Arrant, & Takuro
• "So if I cast Solar Circle Sorcery right here…" "Your head falls off?" — Khazarkhan & Arrant Green Jay
• "The consequences will range from really bad, where lots of things explode, to really fucking bad, where entire continents explode." — Khazarkhan
• "Khazarkhan, we're Exalted. We don't need history, we make history. 'Remembering the past' and 'learning from our mistakes' is for lesser people." — Takuro
• "I am End of Sunrise and Bringer of Plagues!" — Takuro
• "I've had a great deal of fun developing this character. I would hate to roll forty dice of damage against him." — Neel

Game Thirty-Two

• "Sure, the Green Sun technically illuminates." — Ben
• "There's more braid-tugging in Wheel of Time than there are sex scenes in porn." "No, you're wrong. There's more braid-tugging in Wheel of Time than there are sex scenes, period." — Ben & Laura
• "When haven't we had angry Abyssals?" — Takuro
• "I was a little peeved. I wouldn't quite call it a 'rampage'." — Ashes
• "We don't want her to have it back. It's cool!" — Takuro, on returning the Calendar of Setesh
• "Mah! The shog-goths are back!" — Ben, in a hillbilly drawl
• "You may be dissolving bits of the universe even as we speak." — Khazarkhan
• "I don't think she's a Sidereal. Sidereals are cute and wear pointy shoes." — Arrant Green Jay
• "How do you learn stuff without testing things to destruction?" — Khazarkhan
• "Do I have Resources N/A yet?" — Arrant Green Jay
• "We need a Shadowland. Do you want to commit an atrocity?" — Khazarkhan
• "Maybe we need some debasement." — Takuro

Game Thirty-Three

• "As much as I'm not a fan of killing large numbers of people…" — Takuro
• "I mean, we fuck with the Loom, right?" — Takuro
• "I'm just trying to apply Damanklon's Daiklave here—find whatever is most complicated and smash it to bits" — Takuro
• "Can we buy ourselves a month by moving Lookshy?" "I, uh—where would we put it?" — Khazakhan & Takuro
• "And then they suffer a fatal accident every fifteen minutes until they die." — Neel
• "My point is that he's Conan; I am Elric. No, wait, that's a terrible analogy." — Ben
• "If I personally have to stand up to the Maiden of Journeys and flip her the bird, I will do so. Solars have big, shiny, golden middle fingers. That's what we're for." — Takuro
• "I don't know if the Mask of Winters can cast Solar Circle countermagic. If I spend a huge amount of Essence and everything explodes, then he can." — Khazarkhan
• "Have you ever met anything that said, 'Ahh, I have achieved peace at last,' rather than exploding?" — Khazarkhan
• "Do either of you know how to hide a mountain?" — Khazarkhan
• "God help me, getting Lyta sounds like a good idea." — Takuro
• "Of all our psychopathic enemies, she's the one I'm least worried about immediately trying to kill us." — Takuro
• "In the general category of things that explode, Lyta's right at the top!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "We strap scuba gear to the horses. I don't know." — Takuro

Game Thirty-Four

• "I don't see this as taunting. I see it as more, 'Neener, neener, neener!'." — Laura
• "We're not Nietzscheian supermen; we're D.C. supermen." — Ben
• "So you were training—on a distant mountaintop, or deep underground in the bowels of the earth?" "On an underground mountaintop." — Neel & Andrιs
• "It's Martial Weather! It can rain fire and H-bombs!" — Theresa
• "The rain is made of little water droplets with two laser guns in their hands. Pschoo! Pschoo!" — Ben
• "Lee press-on nails of death!" — Andres
• "Yeah, you wanted a way to end a five-paragraph essay. … I didn't say it would be a good ending. … What is this essay even about?" — Ben, on the phone
• "I think it's really hard to end an essay badly by claiming responsibility for the assassination of a popular political figure." — Ben
• "Stop, let me ask something first: Will the spell require the sacrifice of a sentient being?" "N...o?" — Takuro & Khazarkhan
• "I'm trying to figure out what would cause environmental damage to a giant robot." — Khazarkhan
• "No one pays attention to your LiveJournal?." — Theresa, on how to taunt an Abyssal

Game Thirty-Five

• "No, I think they have a dot in the Craft:Pizza skill. It's the dot in Intelligence that I doubt." — Ben
• "In this case, I'm using 'Asia" as a synonym for "sweatshop'." — Ben
• "I don't think the rotting is really much of an impediment to a zombie." — Ben
• "I am the prayer!" "Egomaniac! Hello?" — Takuro & Ashes
• "Vicious Arrows of Pointiness" — Ben
• "I'm the Abyssal, and I'm the one for positive things. I want you to not attack allies." — Ashes
• "Discretion is the better part of valor, and cowardice is the better part of discretion. Thus, cowardice is valor." — Khazarkhan
• "Look. It's gross and horrible and dead. You're gross and horrible and dead. It's a natural fit." "I'm not dead." — Arrant & Ashes
• "Best god damn mote I ever spent." — Takuro

Game Thirty-Six

• "They're not anti-anything, just pro-idiocy." — Ben
• "Everything's better on fire." "And everything worthwhile explodes." — Andrιs & Ben
• "That's because you keep trying to stop me from summoning the Unconquered Sun." — Khazarkhan
• "How's the Thousand-Forged Dragon doing?" "It's kinda looking like two Five-Hundred-Forged Dragons at the moment." — Theresa & Andrιs
• "Do you want to keep an eye on me to make sure I don't accidentally destroy Creation?" — Khazarkhan
• "That's very general, and you're smiling." — Arrant Green Jay
• "You're now on my 'Do Not Fight Except From Another Continent List'." — Khazarkhan, to Arrant Green Jay
• "Now, my Old Realm is kinda rusty, but doesn't that read Glory To Mal Desirus?" "No, that, uh, says, Glowing Old Meatloaf." — Lyta & Takuro
• "I'm imagining this two-foot-tall warstrider. My First Daiklave™!" — Ben
• "If two Solars are in conflict, it's like Battle of the Bands." — Ben
• "Honor is what people tell themselves before they do something stupid." — Khazarkhan
• "Hot tubs. Orgies. Hot tubs with orgies in them." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Well, they have identities that are my age." — Arrant Green Jay
• "So, he's not gonna come back and eat us any time soon? I have an orgy to get to." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Field dressing, torture device, incendiary, beverage—it's everything!" — Arrant Green Jay, on Lookshy Firewater
• "We should be worshipped—no, no, no—we should be respected and obeyed, never worshipped." — Takuro
• "Think of it as the ethernet cable in your giant death-star-super-laser." — Neel

Game Thirty-Seven

• "I don't blow things up! I cover them in lava. It's completely different." — Khazarkhan
• "Listen, I know what you're thinking: Abyssal, death, destruction—yeah." — Ashes
• "It takes time to make generals from scratch. It's so much more convenient to find a ready-made one." — Arrant Green Jay
• "You may be peas in a pod, but it's an evil pod." "Yeah, it's sort of lumpy and purple." — Takuro & Arrant Green Jay
• "People without perfect defenses, please leave the room." — Khazarkhan
• "Gods are like junkies. Once they move into the neighborhood, it's over." — Neel
• "You're an Eclipse! You can go anywhere you like!" "I don't like it!" — Khazarkhan & Arrant Green Jay
• "No need to rile anybody up by being blatantly diplomatically immune." — Arrant Green Jay

Game Thirty-Eight

• "I still think all we need to do is light me on fire. I'm charismatic enough to pull off being a fire aspect." — Takuro
• "So if I light something on fire, does that violate diplomatic immunity?" — Ashes
• "They are ex-demons, pining for the fjords." — Neel
• "Do not punish people for cooperating. Rule No. 5 of successful negotiations." — Takuro
• "It's an evil war machine. I like that kind of thing." — Khazarkhan
• "Can't. Track. Back. If. There's. No. Way. Back." — Ashes
• "I can give a sucking chest wound even to darkness." — Ashes
• "It would be like going over to a friend's house and breaking all his silverware and throwing a lousy party—" "To save lives!" — Khazarkhan & Takuro
• "We'll die too quickly for it to be gallant." — Takuro

Game Thirty-Nine

• "Insane." "But in a fun, shapeshifting sort of way." — Andrιs & Theresa
• "Ooh, I, uh, glow!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "I'll give you these buttons if you go talk to the river of darkness." "Are they Exalted buttons?" — Arrant Green Jay & A second circle demon
• "I say, 'Kill everything,' and she does. It's even better than sorcery!" — Khazarkhan
• "Takuro, you have five days: talk to them." — Khazarkhan
• "Except for my daughter; she keeps the right to think for herself." "This seems particularly unwise, given that she is your daughter." — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "He'll feel better when he wakes—no he won't; after the hangover." — Arrant Green Jay
• "Let's make a list of important things in Heaven." "Loom." "Oh, I'd forgotten about that." — Khazarkhan & Arrant Green Jay
• "But that's work and doesn't have orgies in it." — Arrant Green Jay
• "If my personality is overwritten by a mad First Age demigod, Tiia, I want you to know that I love you." — Khazarkhan, to his daughter

Game Forty

• "He's probably a Malfean by now. Here's the logic: He's been gone a long time. He may have died." — Khazarkhan, speaking of Autochthon
• "Then there's the chance of them turning into cyber-zombies." — Khazarkhan
• "Creation needs to be saved no matter what. All our stuff is here, dude." — Takuro
• "I'm also tempted to eat his crusts." — Laura
• "I'm going to go talk to the head. Then we can try breaking into the Games of Divinity. If we're still alive, afterwards, we can go visit the Mountain Folk." — Takuro
• "My actions are an extension of the Unconquered Sun. That's the basis of my whole religious philosophy." — Takuro
• "Why would anyone not nuke Khazarkhan?" — Arrant Green Jay
• "First, he learns to make himself from nothing. Then, we use the bathyscope—" — Khazarkhan, rambling incoherently
• "That sounds highly theoretical in the way that gets people killed." — Arrant Green Jay
• "The Sidereals have the power to fuck things up like nobody else can." — Takuro
• "Your plan requires creating ourselves out of nothingness even though we already exist." — Takuro
• "I give the Unconquered Sun a dance that people would normally pay a lot of money for." — Takuro
• "Would a few lousy terminology changes hurt so much? All these references to Heroes instead of Protagonists…" — Ashes
• "No, that'll be the point. We won't torture or kill them. It'll be like IKEA." — Takuro

Game Forty-One

• "We should either kill something, brainwash something, or destroy a major population center." — Takuro
• "Now, see, I don't want to have sex with rabbits. That's an important difference." — Khazarkhan
• "Out of the five poles, we only have a two-fifths chance of hitting one with a lot of population." — Takuro
• "They're decadent, right?" "Ooh, yes! We're going there!" — Takuro & Arrant Green Jay
• "No clones?" — Khazarkhan, sounding sad
• "If there are any more charms to buy, I'm buying them now." — Takuro
• "Think about the fact that this is Exalted, and anything that could possibly ever blow up will." — Ben
• "I let people start rumors about all the awful things I do." — Khazarkhan
• "Let's go back to the map chamber, because even if we can't save Creation, it's a really fun toy." — Takuro

Game Forty-Two

• "You don't create servants; you create people that happen to agree with you." — Ben
• "For me to get more arrogant is kinda like boiling the sun." — Takuro
• "One can certainly piss off a Yozi. That's an impressive ability." — Takuro
• "It's like there's a right foot, and a left foot, and a wrong foot." — Arrant Green Jay
• "The difference is that after meeting a Zenith, everyone's happy." "Also, we have much better fashion sense and no problem with blood transfusions." — Khazarkhan & Takuro
• "I'm just saying that Fair Folk, in their willingness to ignore reality in favor of hubris, they're on our level." — Takuro
• "You sleep with the Dragon-Blooded." "That's just a hobby." "But you get so much practice. You think you'd be better at it." — Arrant & Takuro
• "It's the south! We'd have to shave the yeddim!" — Arrant Green Jay
• "There's nothing more pathetic than a shaved yeddim on rollerskates." — Takuro
• "Do we wanna bring the insane, uh…" "My answer is probably gonna be 'No'." — Takuro & Ashes
• "I think we've discovered something more pathetic than a shaved yeddim on rollerskates—a shaved yeddim on rollerskates that's been squished by giant pistons." — Theresa
• "The pistons have crabs!" — Theresa
• "Now hang on, we just anal probed a Primordial." — Takuro

Game Forty-Three

• "If you took a Japanese kid who knew nothing of Christianity, told him about In Nomine, and give him acid, Last Exodus is what you'd get." — Neel
• "We've got a few minutes. I'm going to up my Socialize." — Takuro
• "Aww fuck it. I'm going to have to learn Benediction of Archgenesis, amn't I." — Kazarkhan
• "Let's just say that I really like the idea of all of Nexus viewing me as a messiah." — Takuro
• "Cool, a spell with actual mechanics! It's been so long!" — Neel
• "Sex is mandatory." "Reminds me of this one summer camp I was at…" — Rapid Retrieval Archive & Theresa
• "You know, I think this society embodies everything I find distasteful, without actually being hateful." — Kazarkhan
• "So, the usual five experience?" "Ah, you cured the Great Contagion; have six." — Theresa & Andrιs

Game Forty-Four

• "Wait a minute! There's a previous quote about lumberjacks and salami!" — Theresa
• "We would not have gotten a montage if we were going to fail." — Ben
• "We're debating the ethics of strip-mining the Underworld." "No we're not! That would be evil!" — Takuro & Khazarkhan
• "This place is full of humans. They can't help us." — Khazarkhan
• "Shh! I'm rationalizing my faith." — Takuro
• "What is it with you? You don't want to abuse your powers." — Khazarkhan, incredulously
• "The money-grubbing sex machine?" "You say that like it's a bad thing!" — Ashes & Arrant
• "In the future, I'd like to retcon something." "You mean you want to do something now?" — Ben & Andrιs
• "I'm skipping through a Blight zone, and you're really scary." — Ashes
• "Jedis are like Communists if they were Buddhist monks and had nothing to do with Communism." — Neel
• "Hey, you let her stab you in the brain. I didn't do that." — Arrant
• "We're not happy!" "I'm happy!" "You're not everyone!" — Takuro & Khazarkhan
• "He is doing something important! He's keeping us from playing the Games of Divinity!" — Khazarkhan, of the Unconquered Sun
• "If you destroy the Games of Divinity, I'm leaving Creation and not coming back." — Khazarkhan

Game Forty-Five

• "That's stupid!" "No it's not. Takuro's with me." "Like I said." — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "You're not really the setting-on-fire master. That's more his department." — Andrιs, to Ashes & Khazarkhan
• "Wait, did you say it was unethical?! What does that mean?" — Ashes, to Khazarkhan
• "Do you have a problem with the idea that an insane sorceror can be happily married?" "The idea of you happily anything—yeah." — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "It's all about bad and mad and folly. Let's go do it!" — Khazarkhan
• "Of all the people I wouldn't trust with the Realm Defense Grid, you top the list, and Khazarkhan's a close second." — Arrant, to Ashes
• "There's a difference between volunteering and volunteering. We want volunteers, not volunteers." — Arrant
• "This is tricksy. If I had infinite Essence, I could kill everything." — Ashes
• "I'm trying to spawn some ideas here. And not spawn like maggot spawn, just spawn. Nice spawn." — Ashes

Game Forty-Six

• "What're we gonna tell the children? 'Eat all your veggies or I'll send you to goatse.cx?'" — Ben, in an old hag voice
• "Oh, wait, Game, not Goat…" — Andrιs, typing this week's header
• "I seem to recall having a conversation about this before, and Khazarkhan having reservations." "I don't care!" — Arrant & Takuro
• "Khazarkhan must have passed out from spending all that Essence." "Yes, that's exactly what happened." — Laura & Andrιs
• "If we're going to destroy ourselves, let's do it doing the right thing." — Takuro
• "I don't like people being chained. Particularly when I can use them as an army." —Takuro
• "Sure, we'll call everybody in. The GM clearly wants us to do it." "That's why I'm reluctant." — Laura & Ben
• "Historically speaking, that's what it's for! 'Ma, where's my Realm Defense Grid at?'" — Takuro
• "People we don't want to die are going to die in horrendous numbers no matter what we do." — Takuro
• "We're Solars. What were we built to do?" "Kill Primordials?" "Betray things?" "Go crazy?" " Yes, yes, and yes." — Takuro, Arrant, Ashes, & Takuro again
• "I'm actually going to hold off on firing off the nuke." "Hurrah! Good man." — Takuro & Arrant Green Jay
• "I say that we go to the Realm and raise up an army of armies that has not been seen in Creation since the First Age, and we'll bring them down South to battle the Fair Folk in a war that will take weeks, and when we're all done, the Ebon Dragon will pick up the pieces and subject us all to torture and death." — Takuro
• "I just want to kill a Yozi! It's not like I'm asking for a lot here, people." — Takuro
• "Zombies make perfect sense. The Lenin and Trotsky bit—crazy." — Ashes
• "You're not going to have to kill me later." "No, I'll probably have to have someone else do it." — Takuro & Ashes
• "I don't swear oaths. I just ask Primordials to kill me if I do something wrong." — Takuro
• "You can only die once." "There's Primordials involved, and they're very creative." — Ashes & Takuro
• "What happens if the Pope tries to burn down the Vatican?" "He's committed?" "Okay, what happens when the Pope tries to burn down the Vatican and he's a ninja?" — Takuro & Ashes

Game Forty-Seven

• "And what country are subway sandwiches from?" "Germany! Untersandwichen." — Andrιs & Ben
• "Have I mentioned how I awesome I am?" — Takuro
• "Zombie Peasant Piss? Sounds like a mixed drink." — Theresa
• "Wow! This is the worst roll ever. One success on fourteen dice." "Is it for our enemies?" "Yes." "Good." — Andrιs & Theresa
• "They're not like us. They're not people." — Ashes
• "That's fantastic, because it's what we like to call a 'target-rich environment'." — Ashes
• "As a matter of fact, while we're talking of scale, I decimate a few units." — Ashes
• "I think I have an auxiliary reserve of Zombie Peasant Piss." — Ashes
• "Oop, the stats on my warstrider are getting blurred." — Ben, after spilling Mountain Dew on his character sheet
• "It makes less noise in certain positions." — Takuro
• "What the fuck? They're a northern army. They're probably sunbathing!" — Takuro
• "I'm reluctant to press the button, and I wanted to activate the Realm Defense grid." — Takuro
• "A Sidereal that speaks to another Sidereal will be shot out of hand." — Takuro
• "Our enemies fall before us. They are terrified of our glory." "So are our armies." — Takuro & Ashes
• "You have this habit of reflexively killing people, even if they're allies." "Only when they deserve it!" — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "It's no surprise to me that you periodically go crazy." "Periodically?" "Periodically?" — Ashes, Andrιs, & Theresa
• "Don't think up problems when we still have the Ebon Dragon." — Ashes

Game Forty-Eight

• "Cool. I'm hit number three for 'how to get demons to do your bidding' on google." — Andrιs
• "I've seen you naked." — Laura
• "Maybe you have to be 21 to rent it." "You go to hell. Yo go to hell and you die." — Neel & Ben
• "When last we left you guys…" "Oh god, we're not even protagonists." — Andrιs & Theresa
• "I'm a paragon of certain virtues." "Chastity not being one of them." "That's not a virtue. That's…a sign of laziness." — Arrant & Ashes
• "I kinda like women with, you know, eyes." — Neel
• "I was thinking more 'professor and grad student' not 'evil power from beyond the universe and superpowered ninja chick'." — Neel
• "Don't you think there's been enough death already?" "Nooo! Don't be ridiculous. Never ask me that again." — Khazarkhan & Ashes
• "We just finished your pizza. It should be there in three-to-five days, depending on UPS." — Ben
• "At best it'll be a disaster. At worst it'll be kinda neat." — Khazarkhan
• "Wait, you still have a botch! No doing anything for you. And no more swearing oaths." — Takuro
• "I'm not whiny. Really." — Neel
• "Botchulism?" — Laura
• "Oh, I love it. It's not geeky; it's existential." — Laura
• "Maybe one of them will be so brave he'll exalt and you'll have allies!" — Neel
• "Okay, you seduce the Empress meanwhile…I'll be suspended from the rafters, carrying a duck." — Takuro
• "You're really not clear on this whole saving Creation thing, are you?" — Takuro
• "Maybe if they're not actually in love, we can team up with the Empress and kill him, and then we can kill her." — Ashes
• "Golden Wang Charm Bracelet" — Khazarkhan
• "Now that I'm looking at the charm names, they all look obscene." — Neel
• "I'll give you a three die stunt to be quiet." — Andrιs
• "Pfft, Infernals. Johnny-come-latelies." — Takuro
• "Fine I'll seduce the Empress!" — Takuro
• "Anything else I should take care of while I'm in bed with her?" "Dude! That's an open end like a barn door." — Takuro & Ashes
• "Also could someone with a Perfect Defense please stand next to me?" — Khazarkhan
• "Glorious Bullshit Technique" "That's really the only charm I have. All these others are just subsections of that." — Andrιs & Takuro
• "That was my plan all along. The worse the Underworld is, the more ghosts will want to reincarnate." — Ashes