I hope this message reaches you. I am still uncertain of my talents, but am doing my best to develop them, for I fear there will be little enough time in which to do so before chaos is loosed upon the world. It is as if the wall holding back the deluge has already been topped, and its only a matter of a few heartbeats before the dam crumbles to nothingness. Everyone talks bravely and politely, and the parties and posturing go on, but underneath it all is a current of fear and whispered rumors of encroaching horrors. I had not sensed fear among the Exalted before, and that alone is cause to make me fear. I would like to believe that it is just a matter of my senses becoming more acute now that I have joined their number, but such naivety will not serve me well in the coming times of tumult.
I sent this message myself. I think I got the incantations right, but it is hard to know for certain. I have been teaching myself from the books in Mother's collection. I do not wish to be ill-prepared when I begin at the Heptagram. Sorcery does not seem very hard, though. It's just another language, a lot like math. The other techniques my instructors have been trying to teach me seem much more difficult.
Mother has been speaking much with me of late. She is treating me differently than before. I think she's dealing with me as an adult. I will strive my hardest to uphold and defend our family and the Realm, though I am not entirely certain in what order. All this politicking is very confusing, and terribly cruel to thrust upon one who is still coping with with these strange changes to her own body, though it must have been a hundred times more confusing for you, given the even greater power that surged through you completely unexpectedly, and left you the enemy of your entire life up to that point. I think I understand part of that, and I both pity you and am somewhat afraid of you, though less so than before. Seeing you, even for just a few minutes, made you from a myth back into a man. Immaculate teachings are fine and dandy until it's your own family that turns into demons. I think this is what they call perspective; it seems like a curious blend of selfishness and wisdom.
As I said, I have been speaking much with Mother. She showed me the armor you gifted her and the bones she brought back, and let me in on her plans. She did not do the same with Nual; he seems distant and angry, and I am not sure if I can trust him. I know boys our age are supposed to hate their fathers, but I am still concerned.
Mother isn't the only one who's been speaking with me. Laina, of House Cathak, comes over often. She just finished her schooling, and is full of stories about that. She's also full of advice about the things a girl my age has to deal with, being only six years my elder, though she claims that I won't listen to a word of it, and says that's probably for the best anyway, because there's some things a girl has to learn on her own. She seems unusually open-minded about Anathema, bringing up the subject herself fairly frequently. Her musings about secret societies of Anathema fighting secret wars over the fate of the Realm and all Creation seem eerily close to Mother's revelation that the Heptagram and the highest levels of the government are run by a sort of Anathema I'd never even heard about before. (Mother warned me about the bindings, and said not to worry, as you could undo those later.) Laina sometimes brings along her brother as well. He's usually a quiet, serious man, though when he does speak, it is very much worth listening to him. He was initially somewhat surprised by my willingness to converse with a mere mortal, but pointed out that I had been one myself until very recently, and noted that my father had been one all his life, and I had never thought less of him for it.
The only other visitor we get is your uncle, the Slug. While not an unpleasant person, there's something unsettling about him. It's like he's always looking into you rather than at you. I think he sees everything that goes on around him and then some. He let it be known to me, without stating something so crass directly, that substantial financial donations had been made to certain persons to ensure that my brother and I would receive proper schooling despite the less-than-socially-popular status of our immediate branch of the family.
Aside from that, there's not much else of note to report on. In a few weeks I'll be off to the Heptagram to continue my schooling. I shall try to remain in touch, but do not wish to compromise our secrecy.
![[Home]](/exalted.png)